Monday, August 07, 2006

Torn

Tomorrow is the first day of school. As a mom, I am totally excited about this. The kids will be out of the house, and I will finally have some quiet time. Well, I would if I were not also a teacher. See, when I send my two back to school and daycare, I'm getting everyone else's kids. It's like being a mommy - times 143! (I have really big classes this year.) So the mommy-ing never stops. I'm on all the time. I know it's in a different capacity during the school day, like I can't hug them or kiss their boo boos. But there is never a break. It can become a little wearing on a person. I get up, I mommy. I go to work, I mommy. I go home, I mommy. I think the only time I'm not actively mommy-ing is when I'm asleep. And notice I said "actively" there. I think I still mommy in my sleep, because I wake up every time someone coughs.

Another issue I'm having right now is that I'm sending off my oldest to "big boy school" for the first time. Yikes! I know it's only preK, so it's not like real school, but its housed in a regular elementary school. There are big 5th graders at this school! They could unduly influence or beat up my little not-quite-four-years-old angel! I just can't believe that he's old enough to go to school! It seems like just yesterday that he was cuddling at my breast and holding my finger in his teeny tiny little hand. That sweet, innocent little face all scrunched up... We all remember, right? He and I had an agreement: He would stay a little baby forever. And now he's going to big boy school. Can you tell that this is really bothering me? Is that normal? Do all moms feel this big ache in their hearts when their firstborn goes off to big boy school for the first time?

I'm probably just mental. It's been a rough couple of weeks around here. Luckily, my sister happens to teach at the same big boy school. She is literally across the hall and one door down from him. That does help to alleviate the fears. Besides, how can I be concerned about him, when I'm thinking about the 143 students I'm meeting tomorrow?! Oh, the joys of public school. And of being a popular Latin teacher. Ever heard those three words together: popular Latin teacher. Crazy!

3 comments:

Oh, The Joys said...

First day of "school" was yesterday for us too. Back to the grind. -SIGH-

Christina_the_wench said...

I think you're perfectly normal. As moms, we always have that 'protect our own at all costs" thing going on.
I am still not looking forward to the day when some wretched boy breaks my daughter's heart for the first time. I guess you can't protect them from everything. ~sighs~

Sayre said...

My "baby" is going to second grade as of this morning. I didn't wear makeup to take him because I knew I would cry. I did get a bit weepy, but not the sobfest I'd feared. Went home, put on my makeup and headed for work.

I think it's always a little wrenching, but it does get better!