Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Funtime days

We are done with vacation now. All we have to do is clean up the dishes and take out the garbage. I can't believe it is over already! It has been a fun week. Can't you see how much fun we were having?

Aren't we adorable? We've been having a fun time at Disney this week. I will be posting more pics later, when it's not the middle of the night.

We went to Magic Kingdom on Monday, MGM on Tuesday, and Animal Kingdom today. The boys had such an AWESOME time! Cheeseman had a hard time deciding which thing was his favorite. Except at MGM. The Power Rangers were his absolute favorite! Just getting to watch his face when doing all the fun stuff made it totally worth it to us.

Even Bman had a good time. People told us that 2.5 was too young for Disney, but I think he enjoyed it. He didn't understand what was going on half the time, like never putting on the 3-D glasses for the shows, but he smiled and waved. I think he really liked the parades. He waved at ALL the characters. He wasn't a big fan of Pooh, which is odd since he sleeps with one sometimes. But everyone else, he was fine. And the Incredibles kind of freaked him out, but they had giant heads. Who can blame him?

My favorite part, other than watching their little faces, was the hug and kiss I got from Pooh on the first day. That was nice. I didn't get my picture made with him, but he knew. It didn't seem to be too bad to stand in lines. It didn't seem too hot. It was humid, but never actually rained. That is pretty strange for FL in the afternoon. It was practically perfect.

I'll report more later, when I'm not tired. And sunburned. Ouch. I wore sunscreen, really. But it was hot and sunny. Luckily, I lathered the boys up. They are still pretty pasty-white! I'm sure Mom will give me a hard time about that. Oh well.

Friday, June 22, 2007

iPod Meme

THE iPOD MEMEINSTRUCTIONS:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.
NO CHEATING!

How do you feel today? Any Man of Mine - Shania Twain
What's your outlook on life? Come Together - The Beatles
What does your family think of you? Supergirl - Donovan
What do your friends think of you? Word of God Speak - Kutlass
What do your exes think of you? All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
How's your love life? Stop It Girl - New Kids on the Block
How will your love life be in the future? Heaven Is a Place On Earth - Belinda Carlysle
Will you get married? Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
Are you good at school? Funky Town - Pseudo Echo
Will you be successful? Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
What song should they play on your birthday? Wild Thing - Tone Loc
What song should they play at your graduation? Mickey - ???
The Soundtrack of your life? Tequila - The Champs
You and your best friends are? Take It Easy - the Eagles
Happy times: New World- David Wilcox
Sad times: Is Forever Enough - Hawk Nelson
Every day: Walk Like an Egyptian - the Bangles
For tomorrow: Sweeter - Hillsong
For you: God of Wonders - Third Day
What does next year have in store for you? We Are the Champions - Queen
What do you say when life gets too hard? One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - George Thorogood
What song will you dance to at your wedding? Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
What do you want as your career? La Bamba - Ritchie Valens
Your favorite saying: the 59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy) - Simon and Garfunkel
How will you die? Centerfield - John Fogerty

Thanks to the View From the Manse for this great idea! I could not believe how many of the songs actually fit! And no, we did NOT dance to Ice, Ice Baby at our wedding.

154.5

Yowzers! Jeepers! I have no idea what I am doing to lose this weight. I didn't work out yesterday at all. I even ate a half a slice of the lemon pound cake. I may have to ask the Braggs to bake us another one, since every day I've eaten it I've lost weight. Hmm... lemon pound cake leads to weight loss. I like it! I should write a book!

Packing for the weekend in Pageland and the week in Disney. Should be fun!!! Must do the last load of laundry. Must also get a shower gift for next weekend. Or maybe we'll pick them up something at Disney. I don't think Chris or Kristen is into Disney. Oh well. And Nikki dropped off her laptop yesterday, so now I can upload photos from the camera every day. I was starting to think we'd have to buy a new memory card! I plan on taking plenty of pics of the boys. Maybe not as many as Nikki takes of Madison, but enough for us. I don't want them to ever forget their first trip to the happiest place on earth!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

155.7

I have met my 10% Weight Watchers goal! YES!!!

I have been so good. Even after a weekend of home cooking and lemon pound cake. (Man, that stuff was good!) I still managed to lose weight!

This has been a good week. Hubs has been "officially" diagnosed with ADHD. That would not seem like a good thing, except that now we know how to work on getting him better. He is supposed to be starting some medication soon, that will help him stay more focused.

I led our Beth Moore study tonight. It was fun! I have been feeling a call toward leading a Bible study at our new church, so I wanted to try out leading with friends. I think it went well. I was thinking about a study of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. It is such a good book! It has really made me look at my life and trying to find more balance between "doing" and "sitting". I am definitely a doer. What mom isn't? But I need to try and take more time to just sit and learn, and be with Jesus.

Only 3 more days till Disney World!!!! I think I may be even more excited than the kids. I know how awesome it is, so I have more anticipation!!!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Our First Sunday

I have to report. It was our first Sunday at our new church. Pageland United Methodist in the little town of Pageland, SC. WOW! I could not believe that the self-assured man standing at the front of the church behind the lectern was my Hubs! His voice boomed. His gestures were sure. He didn't stumble or hesitate. It was like someone else. I have never been so proud of him. It brought tears to my eyes.

All the things I was frightened of, being a pastor's wife, were totally unfounded. The people at PUMC were super nice and friendly. I went over with Cheeseman just before Sunday School time. We played with Bman in the nursery for a few minutes. Then two nice ladies, I can't remember both their names now, came by with the other members of his SS class. There were two little girls, ages 6 and 10, and one little boy, age 5. Perfect! So Cheeseman went with them, and had a great time.

Bman and I stayed in the nursery and played. They had lots of "old school" toys. Like those little plastic things that hook together by a hole in one end. I can't think of what they are. They are baby toys, but Bman totally loved them. They even had a cash register, like the one I had when I was a toddler. It didn't work anymore, and all the plastic money was gone, but still!

The church service was great! I'm still not a HUGE fan of traditional music, but it sounded different without an organ blasting. They only have a piano, and that made a difference to me. I liked it better. All the people were so nice, coming up and introducing themselves. I met one lady, Miss Rachel. She said that I had met her "little" sister the day before, Miss Ruth. Miss Ruth is 92. Miss Rachel is 98. The church is 102 years old. WOW! Miss Ruth sings in the choir, and Miss Rachel is the head of the trustees. These ladies are still going strong!

I have never gone to a church with so much history. It was really neat.

The parsonage is nice too. The boys love it! It is about twice the size of our house. The boys are sharing a bedroom, since Bman is not ready to sleep on a double bed by himself. They did okay with that. The first night, they made noise for about 10 minutes before settling down. But we wore them out on Saturday, and they went right to bed at 8:00.

There is a large open field right down a small hill from the house. It's church property, so the boys played baseball down there. There is also a playground right across the street. It has swings, a metal slide, metal jungle gyms (plural!!), and a climbing wall. Even a tire swing! We were there for over an hour! It was AWESOME!!!

There is no TV at the parsonage. It was not even a problem. We played outside, read books, played Power Rangers. Hubs' parents came and stayed Saturday night as well. It was a great Father's Day gift for his dad to hear him preach his first sermon in his first church. They were almost as proud as I was.

I went for a walk Saturday morning. I think I saw most of Pageland in 40 minutes. There is a KFC, Subway, Bojangles, Pizza Hut, Sub Station 2, Burger King, CVS, Dollar General, Family Dollar, BiLo, Rent-A-Center, and Advance Auto. There is no Wal-Mart, KMart, or Target. When we went "shopping" to get stuff for the house, we went to Dollar General. It was actually not too bad. When we went out to lunch after church, people spoke to each other. That small-town thing was not too bad. I think I liked it.

Anyway, I won't mind going back and staying there on the weekends. It will be nice to unwind and slow down on the weekends. If the washing machine were larger, it would be perfect, but you can't have it all!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

OOPS

I may have neglected to mention that Sunday was also our anniversary. Our seventh anniversary. Yay!

We didn't do anything special. In fact, we didn't do anything at all together except attend church. When we got home, Hubs ate lunch then fell asleep due to not getting home from the Braves game until nearly 3 a.m. He napped for about 3 hours, then got up in time to play with the boys for a little bit until it was time for youth group. When he got home, it was time to put the boys to bed. Then we sat and watched TV for a while, then both fell asleep on the couch.

Oh, the excitement!

So! I decided we needed to celebrate. After all, seven years is a big deal to me! I arranged for a babysitter. I picked her up on my way home from the bookstore on Monday. We also picked up a pizza. The sitter and I walked in the door, and Hubs' jaw dropped! I told him that we (he and I) were going out! So I took him out to Carraba's for dinner.

(We are really, really broke. But I had found 2 gift cards from students that totalled about $35. I figured we could both eat on that. And if were not for the beer and wine, we would have.)

It was nice. We got to really talk at dinner, instead of just trying to convince two little boys to eat. Instead of playing "blast off" and "airplane" and "train" with forks in order to bribe them to eat. Instead of picking food up off the floor. Instead of washing dishes.

Grown up conversation. We talked about how his first counselling session went. It was good. He has a second one next Tuesday. And today we got a letter from the insurance saying that they would cover his doctor visits! YES! I was a little concerned about that. Like I said, we are BROKE.

Anyway, it was a lovely evening. We still are not back where we were before all the breaking news, but we are at least sitting at the same table. It is going to take some time before I am able to trust him completely again. That's okay. The things we work for are the things that mean the most to us, right?

And tomorrow, BabyNet is coming to talk to us about our goals for Bman's speech therapy. At 8:30 a.m.!!! Um, I'd like for people outside of Hubs and me to be able to understand him. Duh!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Last Sunday

That we are going to "our" church. I will truly, truly miss NEUMC. Hubs and I have been attending church there since January of 2001. We went the first time by invitation of some of my students who were going there. Thanks Audrey and Ryan! Hubs got involved fairly quickly. It was my fault, really. I volunteered him to sing in the choir. Oops. Then, I also volunteered him to work with a small, student-led Bible study. He loved both! Soon, I was also involved with adult Bible study.

Then I got pregnant with Cheeseman. I volunteered that summer at VBS for the first time. It was scary! There was a little boy in my group who was SO HYPER! I just knew that my little one would be just like that. (which he is) Anyway, we continued volunteering with choir, youth, and children's ministries.

It has been the most wonderful experience. I would not trade it for the world.

My favorite thing about being there, though, has been the friendships I've made through singing with the Praise Team/Band and our Sunday school class. Yes, Sunday school for adults. These relationships have been the backbone for me especially. I have my closest friends there. Lisa, Shannon, Bonnie, Kay. These are my girls! And while it will be hard not to see them, not to sing with them, I know that we will survive this. Because God is part of these friendships. And I know He does not want them to end. I am not leaving my friends, just the building where I met them.

It has taken a lot for me to come to this realization. And yes, I did cry this morning, saying good-bye to the Band. But I know that they will always be with me. And I'll be singing with them on their non-Sunday-morning gigs. Like at Salkehatchie in a few weeks. It'll be okay. For them, and for me.

So while I'm still sad a little, from having to say farewell, I am okay. The Lord is standing next to me, holding my hand, helping me along this path that He wants us to take. He is making me stronger, and making my faith stronger as well. Together, I will get through this. I might even like it!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Fun Night

Well, we're finally home. Spent the evening at sis's house, letting the kids play together. I don't know about hers, but mine are sleeping soundly. Cheeseman did ask to stay up for a few minutes, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out! Bman is also snoring right now. Really snoring. We've got to get that checked out.

The children had a wonderful time. They played with all Madison's toys. They played on the swings, went down the slide. We played "baseball". (That would be Bman hitting off the tee, and Cheeseman getting pitched to.) We ate lasagna. Both boys finished their dinners, which is kind of a miracle. Then we watched High School Musical. Evidently, Madison knows all the words to the songs. I have to say, it is entertaining. The movie, and Madison singing.

A good time was had by all. And I ate too much. And now I'm going to have an English Toffee ice cream bar. Because I've already gone over points. I'll just work harder tomorrow!

Hubs is still in ATL. I don't expect him till well after midnight. The game is still going strong. Last I saw, my Braves were still winning! I am having to update my bro-in-law as to the score of the UNC/USC super-regional baseball game. He's a USC FANatic, and he's missing the game to do this male bonding thing. Isn't that nice?

I hate running

But I'm getting better at it. When summer started, and I was determined to get into better shape and lose some weight, I didn't want to have to get into a hot car, drive to the gym, work out, get back into a hot car, and drive home. So I started walking in a nearby neighborhood. It's only across one semi-busy street. And there's a sidewalk and sprinklers.

The first week, all I did was walk. 15 minutes out, 15 minutes back. The next week, I tried to run some. I was able to get up to 3 minutes of running at a time.

Last week was even better. I was running for about 8-10 minutes at a time.

Then yestereday, I ran for almost 12 straight minutes. When Hubs measured it, it was 1.1 miles! Yay!!!!!! Today, I did the same distance in 11 and 1/2 minutes. I took 20 seconds off my time! Felt good, felt good.

So, even though I hate running, I'm glad I'm getting better at it. And I'm down 14 pounds. And a waist size. I'm in a 12 now. I even have one pair of 10 shorts that fit fine. Guess that particular brand runs large. But I can still boast that I can wear a 10!

Waiting on Bman to get up from his nap so we can go to Nikki's. The menfolk are in Atlanta going to the Braves game tonight, so we ladies are getting the kids together to play. Should be fun! I'm providing lasagna.

Friday, June 08, 2007

A much better day

It was, oh, it was! Finally, we are seeing some progress. I wasn't so sure earlier, especially last week. Yes, Hubs went to meet with Kevin. So that was something. But he hadn't remembered to call the doctor to make his appointment. Then he did it. And he went. And he came home with Lexapro.

I know all is not healed with anti-depressants. But he also has an appointment with a counselor on Monday afternoon. And this morning, he told me that he is committed to finding out what is causing "this" and fixing it. Or at least figuring out what it is so that I can see it coming. Yay! This is 7 years in the making. I am so thankful that he has decided this is something important. It has been taking its toll on our marriage.

It has also affected the children. Cheeseman asked me the other day why daddy is always so mean. Why he yells all the time. And I had to try to explain in 4-year-old words that it's not Daddy's fault. He's just sad. Luckily, and this sounds bad, Hubs' grandmother had just passed, so Cheeseman thought I meant sad because Grama died. Well, it made sense to him, so I let it go. But it really hit home. He had noticed a change in his dad, and he wanted to know what was going on. I also had to emphasize that Daddy loves him very much, even if he seems mad sometimes. It nearly broke my heart.

But today, today was good. Hubs and I have been walking/running in the mornings, before the heat really kicks in. We all went to the grocery store together, which is always an adventure. I don't think we came home with anything NOT on the list, which is a miracle. We stopped at McD's for the kids to get Happy Meals. New Surf's Up toys! We tried to have naptime, but neither Cheeseman nor Bman was having that. I did my Bible study while they had "quiet" time. (HA!)

This afternoon, we went to the mall to buy Hubs some new swim trunks for VACATION!! We also bought him a grill for Father's Day. Unfortunately, it won't be here till the 29th, but he can dream about it until then. We've already started planning our first party.

I cooked dinner tonight, Tuna Noodle Casserole, the WW way. It was YUMMY, and only 6 points. Then we all went for a walk together around the block. The boys desperately need a bath, but it's such a pain! Hubs has gone to a movie with my little brother and our bro-in-law. Boys night and all that. Weenie. Left me to bathe the chilrens. Oh, well.

It was still an awesome day!!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

I Mean Really!

How hard is it to push some toys out of the middle of the floor?

If you are four and two, obviously it is very hard. Especially if your daddy doesn't make you.

If you are the daddy, VERY, VERY HARD, because you'd rather sit on your lazy ass and not do anything. When I got home from work (back at the bookstore, yay!), the living room was a mess. It immediately irritated me. Hubs was asleep on the couch, as usual. I woke him up and he apologized for the mess. He always apologizes. If I wanted an apology, I would ask for one. Instead, I asked for him to just push the mess out of the way. He says he "meant" to clean it up, and just sat down to rest for a minute. That's why he was LAYING down. He obviously didn't notice when he fell over asleep.

And the kids didn't get a bath either, even though they'd been over playing at a friend's house for the afternoon.

My God! Do I have to do everything around here?

And now he's gone back to sleep on the couch. Mess is still there. As usual. I'll be the one to clean it up, because I have no patience for this bullshit.

I mean, really. Seriously. This is about ridiculous!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Better day?

Today was a better day, vacation-wise. I got to go for a walk this morning. I only ran for 8 minutes today, but I walked for an additional 30 "briskly" so that was good. Then Cheeseman and I went to Wal-Mart to get a present for his buddy. He's going to the party tomorrow afternoon, so it was a good thing. And we picked out some more flowers for the front of the house. Hubs wanted to hang them tonight (the flowers), but we didn't have any hooks. Oh well, maybe later this week.

Cheeseman didn't want to eat much at lunch today, barely half his grilled cheese. Which is usually his favorite. He did eat a lot of Doritos though. That's his new thing - Doritos. Whatever! This afternoon, Cheeseman, Hubs, and I went to Baskin Robbins. Yes, I know, the diet. But it's okay! Sugar Free ice cream is the way to go. All the taste, with not near as much fat! Yippee! Only 4 points.

Then we went to the grocery store. Doesn't sound to exciting, but it was fun. Hubs pushed the racecar cart, and I did the navigating. We are trying to eat healthier. Most of the cart was filled with fruits, veggies, and whole wheat selections. Yay us! Tonight, we had salmon and the most awesome pesto rotini ever! It was seriously yummy! We even went for a walk together as a family after dinner. And the kids went straight to bed, not too much fussing. Usually, Bman gets up once or twice trying to escape bedtime. Only opened his door once. Turns out he just wanted Mommy to come in and sing to him. Such a sweetie!

Hubs went and met with our pastor today. He (Hubs) has suffered from depression at times. When we first got married, we didn't live in the same place for the first six months. I was here teaching, and he was finishing his last semester of school. At least, that was what he was supposed to be doing. Instead, he was going to movies, driving around aimlessly, basically just wasting days. When he finally sat down and told me, it was frightening. He went on an antidepressant and had some counselling. Then he moved down here with me, and everything was fine.

This spring, unbeknownst to me, this depression came back. I had noticed some off behavior, sleeping on the couch every night, and I asked him about it. He said nothing was wrong. Then, a couple of days later, he confessed. He hadn't been to class in a week. That was in April. Evidently, there were other times when he just couldn't get himself to go. His grades were not good. He was already on probation academically, and the seminary told him to take a year off. To get help and get straightened out.

It has been frightening. Again. And this time, there are two other little people to think about. It has not been a good time around here. Every day, I asked him how his classes were. Many times, he lied to me and made up stuff. I feel so betrayed! How can I believe anything that he says? I feel like I need to check up after him, make sure he's done what he's telling me. Like calling the doctor. Like going to talk to Kevin. But I'm not his mom! That is not what marriage is about, keeping watch like a hawk. It's supposed to be about trust and respect and love. I'm not really feeling those things on my end.

And I'm concerned about him continuing on this path. He's got an appointment to be a part-time pastor at a church about an hour and a half from here. Basically, we go up there on weekends, and he does his thing. The district office is okay with him going on and doing this. I have some reserve feelings. How can he pastor others if he can't even take care of himself? Doesn't he need to focus on him, and getting himself better?

And yes, truth be told, I don't really want to leave our church. Not at all. But I'm mostly thinking of him. He says that this is just what he needs to see if this pastoring thing is his calling. Isn't there another way? Wouldn't the failing grades and lack of motivation be an indicator?

Also, I'm pissed. Mad at him for lieing to me. Mad at me for not seeing it. Mad at him, because I've been working my ass off all year. And for what? For him to dick around and not go to class? I think not! I have neglected my children and not put them to bed for 3 nights, not even seen them for 72 hours, so he can skip class?! That makes me angry. AND, now that he has added at least one, if not two, more years to his schooling, that is more time that I have to spend in hell. Teaching. How could he do that to me?

But it's not all about me. It should be about him. About getting him better. About fixing this thing that's wrong. But I'm still allowed to feel these things, right? I can still be angry, and hurt, about what has happened. I just can't say anything about it.