Friday, March 16, 2012

Good Week

I discovered this week that I am incredibly competitive. And proud.

Okay, so that's a lie. I already knew both of those things. I've been competitive since I was a little girl. I would compete with my little sister over anything. Really. It was kind of sad. Even our Barbies would compete for the Ken doll. As I got older, I noticed it more. My parents didn't exactly discourage this trait. If anything, they pushed more. Always get A's. Be the best. Why isn't that a 100%?

I will say, though, that at some point I took over the little voices in my head that were telling me to work harder. My best friend, Michelle, said that I was the one always pushing myself. I guess it was so ingrained by the time I hit high school, that I didn't know any other way to be.

But back to modern times, not 20 years ago (OMG! Almost 20 years!!), I am now coaching the girls soccer team at the school where I teach. And I have found that my competitive nature is alive and well. I don't want to just win the game. I want to crush the other team. When we played a tough team on Monday, my stomach was in knots the whole day. What if we lost?

Of course, I know it's just middle school soccer. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay to lose a game. And it's my first year as coach, so no one is expecting perfection. Except me. I'm expecting perfection.

So now I have a dilemma. How do I convey this this desire to win to my girls? But without putting too much pressure on them?

I seem to be doing okay so far. They are playing hard and well. They are working together, and I haven't heard any bad comments from parents. So I guess that's good.

But oh, the pride! We are currently ranked in 1st place. I want to tell everyone. I want the principal to get on the announcements and tell the school. I want to write it on the windows of my van! But I need to tone it down. I know that pride is bad, that it will inevitably lead to a loss. But I can't help it! I want them to continue to win. I want to continue to be #1 because it feels SO GOOD!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Sense of Wonder

Sometimes, when D-man is crawling around the living room, I just can't believe he's mine. He is so happy, so content. He is the smiliest baby I've ever seen. I hope he stays happy,n and thatblife doesn't steal his joy.

He's crawling now. All over! Sometimes he won't wander very far. He likes to stay near mommy. Other times, especially when his brothers are around, he'll wander down the hall. He wants to find the big boys and play! He has 3 teeth fully out. There's one tooth that wants to poke through, but it hasn't yet. He pulls up on everything and everyone. I can't believe he's so big. And that he's mine. I can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that God has given this sweet angel to Hubby and I to take care of and raise. He is such a blessing!