Okay, so that's a lie. I already knew both of those things. I've been competitive since I was a little girl. I would compete with my little sister over anything. Really. It was kind of sad. Even our Barbies would compete for the Ken doll. As I got older, I noticed it more. My parents didn't exactly discourage this trait. If anything, they pushed more. Always get A's. Be the best. Why isn't that a 100%?
I will say, though, that at some point I took over the little voices in my head that were telling me to work harder. My best friend, Michelle, said that I was the one always pushing myself. I guess it was so ingrained by the time I hit high school, that I didn't know any other way to be.
But back to modern times, not 20 years ago (OMG! Almost 20 years!!), I am now coaching the girls soccer team at the school where I teach. And I have found that my competitive nature is alive and well. I don't want to just win the game. I want to crush the other team. When we played a tough team on Monday, my stomach was in knots the whole day. What if we lost?
Of course, I know it's just middle school soccer. In the grand scheme of things, it's okay to lose a game. And it's my first year as coach, so no one is expecting perfection. Except me. I'm expecting perfection.
So now I have a dilemma. How do I convey this this desire to win to my girls? But without putting too much pressure on them?
I seem to be doing okay so far. They are playing hard and well. They are working together, and I haven't heard any bad comments from parents. So I guess that's good.
But oh, the pride! We are currently ranked in 1st place. I want to tell everyone. I want the principal to get on the announcements and tell the school. I want to write it on the windows of my van! But I need to tone it down. I know that pride is bad, that it will inevitably lead to a loss. But I can't help it! I want them to continue to win. I want to continue to be #1 because it feels SO GOOD!