Saturday, August 19, 2006

Worries in My Heart

I'm a little freaked out. Colby has been potty-trained, more or less, for about a year now. He's had those couple of surgeries for the Hirschsprung's Disease, but it hasn't really affected his peeing ability. Until now. I don't know what to make of it. He's started school now and seems to be having a marvelous time. But there's a problem lurking. He won't use the potty. This week, he's had three accidents! The last one, yesterday, apparently he was standing right in front of the toilet and peed in his pants. I don't get it. I feel like I'm missing something. He goes just fine at home. Do you think something is going on at school? He doesn't really talk about any of the other kids. Maybe someone is picking on him because of his frequent trips to the nurse and his colostomy bag? Kids in preschool don't do that, do they?

My mom has been telling me, ever since this last operation which reattached the colostomy, that I need to take him to a child psychologist. That maybe he could be having some issues. But he seems fine. Except for the pee thing. What else can we do? We have a chart for stickers. He gets a cool prize whenever he gets 10 stars. We even count the ones he does at school! Why would he not go? All the other little kids are going. It's a requirement of this program that kids be potty-trained. I don't understand. And to be perfectly honest, I'm embarrassed. I don't want to be the one who's kid can't go to the bathroom. I don't want to be the parent that the teacher has to call every day to bring yet another change of clothes. I don't want anyone to think that my kid isn't "normal." Or that I'm a bad mommy.

Maybe underneath, it makes me feel like I'm not doing my job. Like I've let it slide and haven't been doing my duty (or doo-ty. hee-hee.) But this is about him too. I don't want the other kids to look at him and point and call him a baby. He's my sweetheart. My little man. I just want him to be like everyone else.

Anyway, it's just another hurdle to jump over in this journey. It seems like every time we get through one problem (sick kid, loss of job, sick kid again, starting school, sick kid again) something else comes up. I wish our whole life could be normal. Just for a week.

I also wish my husband would get up off his ass and find a part-time job. It's really hard knowing that my public school teacher paycheck is all we have to live off of. And when the hell do we get the next disbursement of his student loans. Geez! He just bought $400 worth of books for his fall classes. Ouch! I just don't know if we're going to make it if one of us doesn't get another job. If you'd like to make a donation, email me here.

All this thinking is making my head hurt. I should go take a nap.


Andrew said...

The bad news? I'd say some measure of what you are going through IS normal. I don't know what would cause the peeing while near the toilet episode, but kids seem to come up with unexpected stuff all the time. Good luck!

To Love, Honor and Dismay

Oh, The Joys said...

I don't know what to tell you - neither of my children are even potty trained yet, but I'm thinking of you...

Nikki said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. That's really the pits.

Maybe your son is just uncomfortable going to the bathroom in this new environment.

Have you talked to either of your hims yet?

Sayre said...

I had a similar problem with my son. He has a bashful bladder and just couldn't pee anywhere but home or in a bathroom with Mommy standing outside the stall. Part of it was that he has terribly acute hearing and the flush was just too loud. He would cover his ears and scream until it stopped. He also couldn't use "self-flushing" toilets because he couldn't predict when the noise was going to happen.

The happy news is that he's pretty much outgrown it (at age 7), but when he was younger, he changed pants at least once a day while in daycare and in kindergarden. He started getting over it in kindergarden and did okay in first grade.

Just think how threatening it might feel to pull your weenie out in a new place. Little boys are VERY protective of those things.

Mama C said...

Thanks guys! Sayre, that sounds like Colby too. He has been covering his ears when flushing lately. I hadn't even thought of that. I suppose the ones at school are even louder, being "industrial strength." I'll ask him about that when rest time is over.