Ugh! I did not even want to post today. I am fat. I am so fat. I am gaining weight because I am damned unhappy. Weight: 163. Ugh!
My grandma (dad's mom) passed away last Wednesday. I've been in a downward spiral ever since. All I want to do is sit around and eat peanut butter. Even chocolate doesn't make me feel better. (though I am digging the peanut butter m&m's) I miss Grandma so much! She was such a classy lady. And cool! She loved to watch Jeopardy and baseball. She was a huge Cardinals fan. She volunteered at church, at local charity shops. She liked to watch her grandkids play whatever sport was in season. She never raised her voice, at least not that I remember. But she missed my grandpa, who passed away 8 years ago. I'm glad that they are finally together again. They were married for 50 years. What a legacy to pass on!
Anyway, I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked. I did go with the kids this summer, so at least they have a fuzzy memory of her. I got pics of Colby snuggling with her. Couldn't get Bennett to sit that still. He helped her water her plants outside though. I'm sure he loved it. So we had to drive up to Illinois. It was a 14 hour drive, one way. (Too much fast food.) Couldn't fly. Don't have the money. Got to see all my aunts and uncles. All my cousins. Including Kelly and Ian, whom I haven't seen in seven and six years, respectively. That part was great! But I miss Grandma. Looking at her at the visitation nearly tore my heart out. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest and wouldn't get up. I feel like I won't be me again, without her. But I know she's looking at me from heaven. Looking after me. That's just the kind of grandma she was.
We miss you, Grandma. We love you!