Monday, October 23, 2006

Under the Weather

It's fall. The time when a man's fancy turns to thoughts of snuggling naked under a comforter. When my thoughts turn to Where are we going to get the money for daycare? For the mortgage? For the electric/water/phone/cell phone?

Why haven't I heard back from that job I interviewed for where the manager practically had me sign the papers on the spot? I didn't really want to have to work another job until midnight most nights, but when you're looking at losing your house, anything looks good.

Why won't hubs get a job? He just dropped two classes, because he was feeling overwhelmed. Um, hello!? He's got the time. If he could just learn to read faster, or more effectively.

Why do I have to deal with everything? Calling the hospital to set up payment plans. Making sure the bills are paid. Earning the money. Cooking. Cleaning. Doing laundry.

I am so tired. So very tired. I'd like to just curl up in a little ball and go to sleep. But I have to go grade papers. And I have to fill out financial assistance forms. And the DSS forms for food stamps. And the forms to see if we qualify for Medicaid. Because I have no pride anymore. I believe we have hit rock bottom.

It's lonely down here.

Sorry this is so depressing. But I've had a rough time lately. If anyone would like to make donations, please email. I will be happy to send you my address.

1 comment:

Sayre said...

Wow... dealing with all that stuff is definitely enough to test your faith, in yourself, in your husband, in your God. It won't be easy, but you CAN get through this. Have you talked to your husband about getting a job? Does he have a clue about what you're going through? He can't know if you don't tell him. I found out the hard way - men are not mind readers. Even when they love you. Simple creatures really - must have EVERYTHING spelled out to them.