Happy Turkeys

I am so frustrated. Honestly. You'd think I wasn't working two jobs, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and taking care of two kids. I'd love to sit around a library all day, or in class, learning. Taking notes. Learning. What a concept! If we could switch, that would be awesome.

I'm not asking for much. Just fold the clothes when you do the laundry. Don't just dump them on the lounger and let them sit for 3 days. Empty the garbage when it's full. Put your cereal bowl in the dishwasher! Geez! You're 28 years old! You know how to open the damn dishwasher. I am not your mom!

Who, by the way, decided to clean the kitchen when she came for Thanksgiving. Hubs asked her TWICE to stop wiping up the counters and sink - WITH. A. SPONGE. of all things - but she said she didn't have anything else to do. Um, try playing with your grandsons, you old cow! Good Lord! I even sent the boys outside so that she would get out of the house and let Hubs cook in peace. But NOOOOOOOO!!!! I thought I was going to lose it. Really.

There. I said it. And yes, in my previous post, I remarked about how I am greatful for such generous in-laws. And I am. I really am. But I need her to NOT clean my counters. with a sponge. Did I mention she used a sponge???? The nastiest germ-carrying option. Does she not watch Oprah? NO. She's too busy cleaning my kitchen!

Okay, I'm done.

And tonight my mom was on my case about wanting to make sure that Cheeseboy goes to Sunday School every week. Does she not get that Hubs is studying to be a pastor? And that we are VERY involved in our church? And that my child's walk with Christ is the most important thing in his young life? She was actually giving me a hard time. And accusing me of accusing HER of being a bad grandma. I said no such thing. Nothing!

But does she not remember skipping church A LOT when I was young? We hardly ever went. She thinks this is all Hubs' doing. "You sound like your husband!" she says. Like it's a bad thing that God is important to us. You'd think a parent would be proud that her daughter is so committed to walking with the Lord.

Whatever. I have more things to rant about, but I have a ton of papers to grade that are leftover from my Thanksgiving "break" from school that wasn't really a "break" because I was working 40 hours at my other part-time job that I have because Hubs is in school and incapable of working. Did I mention that my mom is on his case for that too? It's been a fun week.

Getting Into the Spirit

Having been sent over by BooMama to A Broad In Athens, I was inspired to make a list of the 20 things I'm most thankful for (in no particular order):

1. I'm thankful for those two sweet little boys who still like to cuddle on the couch with their mom.
2. I'm thankful for my job, even if I don't always like it.
3. I'm thankful for my students, especially when they have an "a-ha" moment.
4. I'm thankful that my car is still running.
5. I'm thankful that the Hubs didn't have a complete breakdown during his last depressed episode.
6. I'm thankful that my mom lives nearby and is willing to watch my kids almost any time I need her.
7. I'm thankful that my sister, her husband, and my niece live close enough that the boys can get to know their cousin.
8. I'm thankful that for the most part, Colby is doing a great job at school and is learning so much!
9. I am thankful that we found such an awesome in-home daycare for Bennett, and that it is right up the street!
10. I am thankful that I get to be surrounded by books at my "other" job in the bookstore. How blessed am I!
11. I am thankful that my dad cares enough about his grandsons that he is willing to drive 6 hours to come visit for a day.
12. I'm thankful that my cousin was admitted to the bar in SC. This may prompt his mom (my fave aunt) to come live here. She is DREAM with the kids!
13. I'm thankful for the new friends I'm making at church.
14. I'm thankful that these new friends have kids almost the exact same ages as Colby and Bennett. Built in play dates!
15. I'm thankful that every Sunday, I get to help lead the congregation in worshipping the Lord. Every Sunday!
16. I am thankful for my wonderful husband who has the courage to follow his call and become a pastor.
17. I am thankful for the Internet, without which I would not have such a great relationship to my extended family. Thanks be to God for myfamily.com!
18. I am thankful that I will be getting my very own classroom again in January! Patience pays off!
19. I'm thankful for my in-laws (there, I said it), who are willing to write a check to their son and daughter-in-law because we are in financial difficulties.
20. I am thankful for my mom's partner who is so generous, that she buys us groceries. She also loves me, and my kids, like we were born of her own flesh. Sometimes, I think she loves us more than my mom does.

So, what are you thankful for?

Every Day, Like the One Before

The pictures from Halloween are still on the camera. There is still candy in the kids' buckets. Spiderman is well and good. The little elephant is too.

I have been working my ass off this week. (not literally, unfortunately) As I've mentioned, I have started a new job at a local bookseller. Fun! I love books! Well, I USED to love books. Now, I think that Stephen King needs to get a life already! Please, somebody, make him stop writing!! If for no other reason than I'm tired of shelving his damn books! There's, like, a million of them! Anyway, this bookseller is getting ready to open a new store near my home. Sooooo, we've been getting everything ready for the grand opening. It's been pretty interesting. It went from totally empty but for the shelves, to being completely full of books in about 24 hours. So cool!

I've met some really neat people this week. Really, it takes all kinds, right? There's a couple of us teachers, some college kids, and some people for whom part-time is a way of life. And the managers! Yowza! One of them is brilliant. No really, she is. She speaks like 9 languages, fluently. Including Latin! Odd but true. She could be anything. And she chooses this? To each their own!

This week in kid news has not been terrible. Well, except for the red card for Colby yesterday. Because of the other kid's bloody nose. Yes. Bloody nose. They were playing "monster", and there was a ball involved. I don't think Colby meant to hurt the other kid. I hope not anyway. But either way, the ball was thrown. The other kid ended up in the nurse's office with a bloody nose. I was SHOCKED. And MORTIFIED. I just wanted the earth to open up so that I could JUMP into the crack and stay there forever.

Wit's end. I'm at my wit's end.

Bennett won't eat. He doesn't like hot dogs, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, green beans, mac'n'cheese, nothing. He used to LOVE those foods. Now, nothing. We can't get him to sit still long enough to ingest anything. And he's not exactly the world's chunkiest kid to begin with either. In fact, my sons are known for their skinniness. (is that a word?) They are tiny things, with no tummy or bottom to speak of. Poor Bennett is just wasting away! Well, not really, but he's not putting on weight. He's always been pretty small, but still! He did eat some of the spaghetti SAUCE tonight at dinner, so that's something.

That's about all for now. I'll have to write some other time when I can just ramble. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing now. Whatever.

Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween! Happy Halloween!

OMG! The kids at school today were so crazy! Luckily, I managed to calm down a couple of classes by giving them a test. I'm so mean. Actually, it wasn't too bad a day. My first two classes had donuts, courtesy of parents. We celebrated a girl's birthday in first block. In second block, hmm, I'm not really sure why we had donuts. And cookies. But I'll tell you, I was HIGH!! I'd taken some cold medicine before class. Then had some hot chocolate. Then a glazed donut. The some Mountain Dew. Then a donut with orange (yum) icing and sprinkles. And some more Mountain Dew. I was flying! I have no idea what went on in my classes. I'm such a responsible teacher.

In third and fourth blocks, the kids took a test on Hercules. It was 25 whole multiple-choice questions. So hard. (Hear sarcasm here) Then they got to color a Halloween themed picture. Of course, they had to use their knowledge of Latin colors in order to follow the key. Of course, some of them didn't finish in class. So, now they have COLORING homework. From Latin class. It's funny.

Then in 5th and 6th block, we took a test. It was not a particularly hard test. It was not a terribly easy test. The kids thought it was pretty easy. I tried not to make it too difficult. As much as those 8th graders annoy the piss out of me, I really don't want them to fail. Well, most of them anyway. There are a couple that I'd like to flunk. If I'm being honest. And why not? This is my blog. None of my students know it exists. And they'd never think to look for me under this name.

Coming up next: the exciting world of trick-or-treating. We're going out to my sister's and going with her daughter in their neighborhood. Which is just as well, since we're too poor to buy candy to hand out this year. I'd feel bad taking my neighbors' candy if I'm not participating. Ya know? I'll post some pictures later of the kids. Colby is dressing as Spiderman, as he's been doing for the past month. And Bennett is going as an elephant. Yeah, I know. Poor kid. But it was free and it will fit. I hope. We haven't actually tried it on him. Guess if worse comes to worse (what does that mean anyway) we can always put him in one of my neice's Cinderella outfits. (hee hee)

It's official. I've got a second job. I got my schedule for next week. Wednesday night, Friday night, Saturday all afternoon and early evening. There goes my life. See ya! Don't let the door hit you on your way out! I didn't want to spend any time with my kids anyway.

Colby has been having difficulties in school again. He's been on red once, orange once, yellow once, and green once. Evidently, he enjoys playing "guns" at school with his little buddy. They are not allowed to do that. You know, school violence and all begins at the preschool level. He's also having so much fun during the day that he refuses to stop to go pee. So he's going in his pants instead. This has happened three times this week. And tomorrow still to go! He used to be potty trained. I'm not sure what is happening here. I feel like we've lost control of the sweet little boy I used to know.

I've wondered if all this acting out is a cry for something else. My mom, because she knows all, thinks that this could be some kind of post-surgery psycho thing. Like, he's reacting to the trauma of surgery. But that was almost three months ago. Is there some kind of time limit on these things? And how do you ask a four-year-old if he's feeling traumatized by his surgery that happened three months ago? Should we find some kind of child psychologist?Argh! I cannot deal with anything else right now.

Is there some kind of limit to how much crap can go on in your life all at the same time? I think we're there.

Under the Weather

It's fall. The time when a man's fancy turns to thoughts of snuggling naked under a comforter. When my thoughts turn to Where are we going to get the money for daycare? For the mortgage? For the electric/water/phone/cell phone?

Why haven't I heard back from that job I interviewed for where the manager practically had me sign the papers on the spot? I didn't really want to have to work another job until midnight most nights, but when you're looking at losing your house, anything looks good.

Why won't hubs get a job? He just dropped two classes, because he was feeling overwhelmed. Um, hello!? He's got the time. If he could just learn to read faster, or more effectively.

Why do I have to deal with everything? Calling the hospital to set up payment plans. Making sure the bills are paid. Earning the money. Cooking. Cleaning. Doing laundry.

I am so tired. So very tired. I'd like to just curl up in a little ball and go to sleep. But I have to go grade papers. And I have to fill out financial assistance forms. And the DSS forms for food stamps. And the forms to see if we qualify for Medicaid. Because I have no pride anymore. I believe we have hit rock bottom.

It's lonely down here.

Sorry this is so depressing. But I've had a rough time lately. If anyone would like to make donations, please email. I will be happy to send you my address.

Happy Second Birthday, Bennett

What a special day! Why? Because two years ago, I became a twice-baked mommy with the addition of Bennett.

Hubs and I got up early that morning of October 11. We'd picked out that date for the c-section. I don't know why. It just seemed like a good day, and it would allow my in-laws to not have to miss any football games over the next weekend. (Honestly, that was part of it.) Anyway, my moms came over around 5:30 am. They were taking care of Colby while we were in the hospital.

We drove mostly in silence. I know that I was nervous about having a second child. How could I possibly love another baby as much as I loved my first? What would we do with another mouth to feed? How would we ever pay for daycare? Would my recovery be okay? Would the baby be okay, or would he have to go to the NICU too?

The nurses prepped me: cleaned my tummy, checked my vitals, took 3 tries to get in an IV. I talked to the anesthesiologist about a thousand times. The doc came in to check on me. Then, it was showtime!

Half an hour later, we had Bennett!

If nothing else, Bennett has been an adventure. Literally. He's not afraid of anything or anyone. From the very beginning, he had his own little personality. Sleep on my back? I think not! Eat constantly? I think so! Sleep through the night? No problem!

He would take his own sweet time doing other things: rolling over, cutting teeth, crawling, talking. However, he's been a pioneer. He loves to climb. Anything, anytime, anywhere. He's not afraid of animals. He's not afraid of the hair clippers. He's not afraid of that dead cockroach in the corner of the classroom at the church. (He tried to eat it. Thank God that Pastor Barrett was paying attention!) No vacuum wakes him, nor does lightning or thunder.

He is so curious about everything. He wants to use that big boy potty so badly! He wants to sleep in the bunk bed with his big brother. (Um, no!) What is that cool, shiny thing on the back of the car? An exhaust pipe? Can I touch it? Ouch! What does it feel like to go head-first off the side of the couch? Ouch!

And he wants to be Colby so much! All he does is follow his big brother around all day. When Colby was into dinosaurs, Bennett had to play too. When Colby liked the Wiggles (glad that's over), Bennett had to play the Wiggle guitar too. Now that Colby's into Spiderman/Superman/Batman, Bennett must have them as well. It is so cute! Well, I think it's cute. Colby doesn't much like it though.

All in all, I am so blessed to have Bennett as my second son. He brings out the best in me. He still loves to cuddle with his mommy. At night, we say our prayers together. Then, I sing "You Are My Sunshine". He lifts his little head and places his forehead against mine as I sing. His blue eyes look right into my brown ones, and he sees into my heart. He knows that I love him more than words.

Happy Second Birthday, Angel baby!

My Favorite Email Ever

Let me start by saying that Colby has been having some issues lately. He's just turned four, and this has apparently made him think that he rules the universe. While it is true that he gets his way a lot of the time, because really it's just easier than explaining WHY he can't have a Spiderman popsicle 5 minutes before dinner, it has not been pleasant to live with.

If you have small children, you are probably familiar with the green-yellow-orange-red progression that is commonly used in schools to show how a child's behavior was that day. Well, my dear Colby has been orange twice in the past two weeks. And on Wednesday, a half-day at school, in only 3 hours, he was red. RED. RED!!! Holy shit!

In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that a child of mine would ever stoop to behavior so bad that it would require a RED. Never! But it was. He was. I was so disappointed. I was so embarrassed.

Then, yesterday, I was checking my email at the end of the day, and I saw one from his teacher. All the subject said was "Colby :)" I took that to be a good sign. Inside the email was this:

mo mmmmmmmmmmmmmy and daddy,

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii aam haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaviiiii ng a beeeeeeeeeeetterrr day! :::;;;;;;;;;;;;)'

colby

I was near tears. I laughed and laughed, and almost cried. My baby, my angel boy, he wrote his first email. At the tender age of four. I immediately forwarded it to the hubs. He loved it too. We've saved it. It's too sweet.

And thank God he had a better day. Otherwise, he would have lost all the skin on his bottom.

OLTA final

Almost forgot.

Weight: 162 lbs.
Size: 12
Attitude: improving

I'm not quite as depressed as last week. It was nice having the weekend to just veg.

Even though I haven't changed any sizes, I am happy to say that I maintained. I didn't get to go the gym AT ALL, and my life has been one shit pile after another during this whole experience. But I'm okay with that. I'm proud of myself for not giving up when things got rough, and really, isn't that what life is all about?

So I'm mentally preparing to kiss someone's (tiny) ass soon. Who will it be?

And I'm so glad I made some new bloggy friends! It's been great having you ladies to talk to and share with. I hope you keep coming around!

And Another One

I'll be the first to admit it. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I know I say that a lot, but I think that there are teachers everywhere who will echo my sentiments.

There was another school shooting today. In Amish country. A shooter just walked in and blew the kids (girls) away. Last week, a principal was shot by a student. The week before, there was a shooting somewhere else. According to the news, there have been 17 fatal shootings just this school year. Since August 1.

I'm scared. I work in a less desireable part of town. The kids at my school can be rough. We have an entire "village" of portables. Anybody can get in there and just go crazy. There's a chain link fence keeping us safe. There's a whole building site on the other side. What if one of those guys went crazy? Who is going to stop them?

I have two little ones who need their mommy.

Someone needs to do something about this. I don't want to be afraid every time I go to work. I'm a teacher for goodness sake! We're all about shaping the future of America, creating leaders, and all that shit. Isn't it time someone took care of us. Lord knows, we don't get paid enough to give up our lives.

Think about it. And thank a teacher for being willing to go to work tomorrow.

On My Journey

When I was a little girl, we would go to church occasionally. My mom is Catholic, my dad is Lutheran. Neither was what you would call a regular. In fact, my did pretty much only went to church to see one of us kids get baptised, celebrate first communion, or get confirmed. Otherwise, he did not darken the doors of a church. There is a story there, but it's not mine to tell.

Mostly, we'd go maybe once a month. I remember we went a little more often once we moved to Mississippi. The church there was nice. I liked the Father. He was nice. But he left after a year, and I didn't really want to go much after that. Then, my parents split up. My mom moved out. I was devestated. She would still come over before and after school every day, but it wasn't the same.

After a couple of years, my dad started going to church again. So some Sundays we'd go to the Catholic church with my mom, and some we'd go to the Lutheran church with Dad. I still wasn't that into it, it was just something we did. Then Dad got remarried, and he got more serious about church. He went EVERY week. Then, and this was a real kicker, he decided he wanted to go to Seminary. So we moved to SC.

My mom managed to find a job out here and she followed us. If I went to church at all, it was to Catholic church. I didn't want to go with Dad. I guess I was still rebelling and angry at moving. I tried going to CYO, but all the kids went to a different high school, so I didn't really fit in.

When I went off to Furman, I started attending Mass on campus. I met some really nice people, and started to go every week. I sang with our little group during Mass. It was fun. I met a nice boy and started dating him. This went on for a couple of years. We even got engaged. But my heart wasn't in any of it. Not Mass, not singing, not dating Chris. Senior year, I broke it off with him, once and for all. I stopped going to Mass.

I went on foreign study that winter. I traveled to Egypt, Jordan, Isreal, and Italy. It was AWESOME!!! I was so blessed to have those experiences. But I saw things there that really shook me. The Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. The church in Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, where Christians/Orthodox can't seem to share and get along. The final straw was St. Peter's in Vatican City. The hugeness, the ornateness, the works of art, the splendor. I couldn't reconcile this with what I thought Christianity was all about: helping the poor, being a good person, living a simpler life. When I got home from foreign study, that was it. I told my mom that I didn't want to attend church anymore. I told my dad. They were not happy about that. But they gave me space.

After graduation, I started dating Weston. After a few months, he invited me to go to church with him. He taught a class of senior citizens, his "grandmothers". They were sweet. His church embraced me with open arms. I went to Sunday school, worship, Wednesday night fellowship. The pastor, Don, was such a great guy! He listed when I talked.

I watched the way Weston lived his life, how at peace he seemed. And I wanted some of that. I joined his church, and it was a great fit. But I still felt like something was missing.

When we moved to Columbia for my job, we didn't go to church right at first. Then a couple of my students mentioned their church to me. I thought, Why not? And then I met Pastor Barrett. It seemed like every Sunday, he spoke to me. He challenged me to do more, to be more. I got involved with Bible school, took Disciple Bible study, started going to Sunday school. And I felt alive! I couldn't get enough of Jesus and His Word. I wanted to know His plan, to make sure I was following His lead. I made friends. I had found a church home.

So, that's where I am. I have added singing in the Praise Team to my list of church activities now. I love to sing, and I love to praise God. We've got a new pastor, Kevin, now. He's not the same as Pastor Barrett (whom I miss terribly), but he's also a great spiritual guide. Weston and I have dedicated our lives, and our children, to Christ. We've had a few bumpy spots. Even starting Seminary isn't easy. I pray multiple times a day, sometimes continuously, about everything. Traffic, tests, the kids, books, you name it.

Was there one specific day where everything changed? When I gave my life over to Christ? No. It's been a gradual process, started by my husband. He didn't know he was planting a seed. He was just being his usual,wonderful self. He turned me on to things I didn't even know I was missing. I'm so glad he has been my partner through this.

It's all about the journey. And I'm so glad to be on it.

Thanks to Lauren at Created for HIS Glory for this Bloggy Tour of Testimonies.

Relax

What a great day! It all started last night - nudge-nudge-wink-wink. Well, technically it was already today, but whatever. Then I got to sleep in until - GASP - 7:30! Colby must've had a party in his room or something to sleep that late on a Saturday. Then the family just hung out all morning. The boys played nicely and didn't make each other bleed, which is always a plus. They took a bath, since they didn't get one last night.

My mom came over just before lunch to babysit. Hubs and I had a date! I was supporting a local high school by buying a couple of lunch tickets to Carrabba's. Yum! Drinks, salad, pasta, chicken marsala... aren't you all drooling? To hell with OLTA! Italian food rocks! [I can still fit into my size 12s so I'm really okay.] We had an AWESOME TIME! We just got to sit and talk. Pretend that we were NOT parents for an hour. It was great! Not that I don't love my boys, but sometimes it's nice to have a little grown-up time.

Afterwards, we went and bought a new bookcase for all Hubs' new schoolbooks. Then we went to the mall and walked around. We got a new watch battery, priced iPod accessories, looked at Christmas (in Sept!) ornaments, books, clothes. I had a great time! I wish every Saturday could be this relaxed.

Shit. We still need to get groceries. So much for relaxed. That is always fraught with dangers and yelling.

I Have a Thinking Problem

What to think, what to think. We had dinner with Pastor R, hubs' mentor. The mentors are seeminly randomly assigned. It happens that Pastor R happens to be the pastor of the church where my mom and her, um, "best friend" go to church. (The "best friend" is a whole different post. I'll go into it later.) She also knows hubs' parents, as they are active in the South Carolina UMC. How fun. She had already met my children also, as they go to church with Nanas sometimes. I was basically the only member of the family she DIDN'T know. Of course, we had to remedy that.

I've had problems with the idea of Pastor R for a while now. She's tried to convince hubs that he should move to Atlanta to go to the "official" Methodist seminary there. She's also told him to really make an effort to balance ministry and family. (Then came the push to move himself to Atl. Is the woman a study in contrasts?) She's also habitually late. For everything. Whenever hubs is supposed to meet with her, she ends up changing the date/time at least once. She's usually then late to the changed date/time. So of course, tonight, she was almost 30 minutes late. We had the kids. In a restaurant. Trying to keep them occupied. It was not pretty. My boys don't do the sit still thing. At all. Sheesh!

So Pastor R finally shows up, and she wants to ask me all the questions: What is the thing that makes you most excited about this new direction? What makes you most nervous? What makes you most excited for your children? What makes you most nervous for them? What would you do if you get assigned to Podunk, SC? What will you do about a job? What will you do if the local schools are sub-par? (We DO live in South Carolina, which is next to last in the nation in school stuff. Thanks for taking last place Mississippi!)

Ummm, what the hell?! What makes me nervous? Moving. Starting over. Making new friends. Being away from my family (mom, sis, etc.). Being a pastor's wife. Playing church politics. The all to real chance that I'll never have a REAL friend again, because they'll be too scared of the whole pastor's wife label. That my kids will grow up shunned and labelled. That they'll never feel good enough, smart enough. That they will inherit their mom's shyness.

Am I excited about this journey? F*CK NO! I don't want to leave behind everything I know! Oh no. Can't say that! That would be the wrong answer, and would make Pastor R think that I'm not 100% behind the hubs. Then she'd write it in some report, and they'd blackball him from the process. So I have some misgivings. Who doesn't, when changing a life completely? And what would she know anyway? She's not married, no kids, nothing. She has no idea what I'm going to face. All she knows is what she's read in articles, or heard secondhand. Please. Could they get us a mentor who at least has been where we are? And one who can tell time?

Enough! I'm going to go do some mindless reading. It's called Specials. It's by Scott Westerfeld. He's good. My students like it, and now I'm hooked. I don't usually like this kind of scifi-ish book. But these are good. Really good. See you!

No Hair Allowed

So there we were, sitting/laying on the bed yesterday afternoon. Hubs was working on the computer, checking his school email. I was laying on the bed with Colby sitting next to me. I lifted up my arms to stretch.

"Ewwww!"

"What?!"

"There's hair under there, Mommy!"

Yes, the little guy had caught me unshaven in the armpit area. Hey, I keep it covered during the day. And it's not like it was REALLY long, just about a week's worth. So I began laughing, and had to explain to hubs what was going on. Of course, he has to show off:

"Colby, Look." as hubs pulls down his shirt sleeve to show Colby HIS armpit hair.

"Ewwwwww!"

I can't wait till he's a teenager. And where did he get this hatred of body hair? Strange.

OLTA update

No change from last week. Still at 163 lbs. Still pretty depressed. I just haven't felt like myself lately. Maybe I need to see someone about that. Still don't have time to get active. I've got to pick up Colby every day right after school. And his stupid bag is still leaking. Damn thing. I can't wait till we meet with the ostomy nurse to see if she can help us. She's a specialist. She'll have all the answers. Right????

Week 7: School

Woo-hoo! Have I ever mentioned that sometimes, it is just fun to be a teacher? (I probably haven't, since 99% of the time I hate it.) It was fun last week. Just one day. Just one class. But sometimes that's all it takes.

I've been having some trouble with my 5th period class. They are 8th graders. Their hormones are starting to work pretty consistently. The girls are all into makeup and hair and boys! The boys' voices are changing. That is pretty damn funny. Especially when they squeak. I love it! I digress. The point is, I've been wanting to skip this class every day. I dread going. Really. And I'm the teacher.
So, on Wednesday, two of the girls came to class with nothing (we'll call them Mary and Flo). No books, no notebooks, nada. "Mrs. English said we could leave our stuff in her room. She said she'd be back after lunch." Obviously, their not having their stuff was all Mrs. English's fault.

This was not the first time they'd done this. I said:
"Flo, you have arms that work. You can carry your stuff with you to the cafeteria."

"But it's a lot of stuff. It's heavy."

"Save it! I carry stuff with me from class to class ALL DAY! I don't want to hear it!"

The look on Flo's face was priceless. I think this may well have been the first time that someone had actually talked back to the princess. This is the same child who had the NERVE to put on eyeliner in my class AFTER. I. TOLD. HER. TO. STOP.

Wednesday afternoon, I also sent an email to about 7 sets of parents, letting them know that I'd had it up to here with their kids. Needless to say, the behavior of my 5th period class has improved. There is still one that I just need to beat with a stick. And his momma is a teacher too. Kind of like preachers kids are the worst in church. Teachers kids are pretty wretched in school. I can't wait to see what my two are going to be like. They're getting a double-whammy. Preacher's kids and teacher's kids. God help them.

Greek (and other) Festivities

Greek Festival. Beautiful jewelry. Lovely crafts. Raucous dancing. FOOD. FOOD. FOOD.

We took the boys to the Greek festival tonight. I think it's always good to introduce children to other cultures. They got to see some children dressed in native costumes dancing folk dances. They loved it! They heard some festive Greek music. Bennett had a great time dancing. Well, it was more like running in circles, but it there was music playing at the time. We walked them around to look at the art exhibits and jewelry. There were these cool linen wraps with itty-bitty cymbals on them that made noise. I really wanted one, but hubs said I would never wear it. Whatever.

Then there was the food. Lamb kabobs, seasoned fries, gyros, baklava, pastries, ice cream, Greek salad, potatoes, honey puffs... the list goes on! No, I didn't have one of each. I'm still attempting OLTA. But it was so good! I did splurge and have a baklava sundae. Oh, wow. That was yummy. I shared (a little) with hubs. Mostly I ate it all myself though. I'm allowed a treat sometimes too! Bennett didn't want any ice cream. I don't see how he could possibly be my offspring. Except that he looks just like my brother did at that age. I can't explain the ice cream thing. Odd.

Last night, the family went to a wedding shower. Also odd. A whole family wedding shower? It was at a friend's house, and the kids all went upstairs to play while the adults (ahem) stayed downstairs and pigged out, I mean, talked. It was a good time. I just hope that my sons, who were by far the youngest children there, didn't scare the bride-and-groom-to-be from having children of their own. They (the kids) tend to be GREAT birth control. A couple hours with them will make any girl sit with her legs crossed for a long time. I always said that back in college. I worked as a camp counselor in the summers at a local recreation center. There were usually between 60 and 80 kids on any given day. After 10 straight weeks of them, I didn't want to even kiss my boyfriend, let alone think about sleeping with him. That's the excuse I gave him anyway. Turns out, I didn't like him enough. Who knew?

And while we're on the topic, my husband is the only man I've ever "been with." And before you all jump on the word man, and think I slept with boys before him, I did not. I'd like to say we waited until we were married, but we didn't. We waited, hmm, about 3 weeks after our first date. But I knew then he was THE ONE. No, I didn't. I knew that he made me feel things I hadn't before. Thank God we got married, because otherwise I would have felt like such a slut! A friend of the guy I was engaged to previously (another fun story) used to say that I was the type of girl who would marry the first guy she slept with. Looks like he knew what he was talking about, huh? Because I did just that. Still together, 9 years later. Married for 6. Two adorable boys. Sigh.

Tour of Testimonies

Wanted to get the word out for Lauren about her Bloggy Tour of Testimonies. This sounds like a great opportunity to praise God and really get His name out there in blogland. I will be participating on Sunday, October 1. Mark your calendars now!

OLTA: Week 5

Ugh! I did not even want to post today. I am fat. I am so fat. I am gaining weight because I am damned unhappy. Weight: 163. Ugh!

My grandma (dad's mom) passed away last Wednesday. I've been in a downward spiral ever since. All I want to do is sit around and eat peanut butter. Even chocolate doesn't make me feel better. (though I am digging the peanut butter m&m's) I miss Grandma so much! She was such a classy lady. And cool! She loved to watch Jeopardy and baseball. She was a huge Cardinals fan. She volunteered at church, at local charity shops. She liked to watch her grandkids play whatever sport was in season. She never raised her voice, at least not that I remember. But she missed my grandpa, who passed away 8 years ago. I'm glad that they are finally together again. They were married for 50 years. What a legacy to pass on!

Anyway, I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked. I did go with the kids this summer, so at least they have a fuzzy memory of her. I got pics of Colby snuggling with her. Couldn't get Bennett to sit that still. He helped her water her plants outside though. I'm sure he loved it. So we had to drive up to Illinois. It was a 14 hour drive, one way. (Too much fast food.) Couldn't fly. Don't have the money. Got to see all my aunts and uncles. All my cousins. Including Kelly and Ian, whom I haven't seen in seven and six years, respectively. That part was great! But I miss Grandma. Looking at her at the visitation nearly tore my heart out. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest and wouldn't get up. I feel like I won't be me again, without her. But I know she's looking at me from heaven. Looking after me. That's just the kind of grandma she was.

We miss you, Grandma. We love you!

Happy Birthday Colby!

Four years ago: There was a memorial service at a local church to commemorate the first anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Hubs wanted to go, but I wasn't feeling up to seeing people. I was 9 months pregnant and due in less than 2 weeks. About 8 o'clock, I was standing at the washing machine. I was loading the sheets and bed stuff for the new crib. My water broke. I called hubs to the hallway. We didn't know what to do. We called the doctor on call, and she said to go ahead to the hospital. They checked me out and said I was not leaving without a baby. They admitted me and started me on some kind of blood pressure medication. The next morning, they performed a c-section and I had my first little angel boy.

As I write this, I can still remember every feeling that night. I was so scared when I realized that I wasn't peeing myself, that something else was going on. Then I felt exhilaration. I was going to be a mommy! My heart pounded. We drove a little over the speed limit getting to the hospital. Oops. I stayed up all night with my friend Judy, who was also my doula. They tried to get me to have contractions, but nothing doing. I was dog tired in the morning. Judy left for about an hour to take her son to the doctor. Right after she left, the doctor came in and said You need to have this baby now. Um, okay. It was all so fast after that.

45 minutes later, I had Colby. I was kissing his tiny, perfect face. I couldn't see it too well, since I didn't have my contacts or glasses. They took him back to the nursery to bathe him and get him ready for his grand introduction. Hubs went with him. He couldn't stand to be away from his son, even for a moment.

The moment they brought Colby in to me, I knew this was it. I'd been waiting my whole life for this moment. Holding my newborn son. A new person. A miracle. A child of God. He was so little, just 6 lbs. 7 oz. He held my finger and looked up at me with those beautiful blue eyes. I fell madly, crazy in love. No one would ever hurt this little angel. He trusted me completely. And his eyes seemed to say 'It's okay mom. We can do this.' From the first sweet glance, he was mine. All mine. Four years later, and he's still my boy. I've tried so hard to do the right things. To make him a good little person, trustworthy, honest, loving. He's such a little man. Still, when I hold him (the few times a month he'll let me), his eyes seem to say 'It's okay, Mom. We can do this.' I love you, Colby. My angel boy. My sweet angel boy. Happy birthday!